About Ralph Meiers

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So far Ralph Meiers has created 279 blog entries.

YSL – Yves Saint Laurent

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW drives up in a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: “Sure. Why not?” The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says: “You have exactly 1586 sheep.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.”, says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd says to the young man: “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep? ” The young man thinks about it for a second and then says:”Okay, why not?” “You’re a consultant.” says the shepherd. “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required”, answered the shepherd. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business… Now give me back my dog.”

By |2013-03-24T07:47:34-04:00December 13th, 2006|Jokes|0 Comments

Intelligent Consumers

Consumers are intelligent.

It is my belief that in order to gain wholesome consumers, a company must get into the hearts and minds of its client base. Creating a positive emotional connection with the consumer is a key first step. Getting to know them is the second. Providing cut dry value is the next.

Telecom deregulation – what are the implications to ‘Urban Canadians’?

By |2020-10-26T06:48:57-04:00December 11th, 2006|Technology, Work|0 Comments

Vista: Your window to the world.

The World of IP.
Espace.

“The most popular formulation is of the doubling of the number of transistors on integrated circuits (a rough measure of computer processing power) every 18 months. At the end of the 1970s, Moore’s Law became known as the limit for the number of transistors on the most complex chips. However, it is also common to cite Moore’s Law to refer to the rapidly continuing advance in computing power per unit cost.

A similar law has held for hard disk storage cost per unit of information. The rate of progression in disk storage over the past decades has actually sped up more than once, corresponding to the utilization of error correcting codes, the magnetoresistive effect and the giant magnetoresistive effect. The current rate of increase in hard drive capacity is roughly similar to the rate of increase in transistor count. However, recent trends show that this rate is dropping, and has not been met for the last three years. See Hard disk capacity.

Another version states that RAM storage capacity increases at the same rate as processing power.”[1]

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moore%27s_law

By |2013-03-24T07:39:36-04:00December 10th, 2006|Technology|0 Comments

vistamceremote

 

11_29_06---vistamceremote.jpg
I’m forecasting a computing revolution with the introduction of Vista. The launch of Vista is just over 2 months away (63 days in fact).

2007 is shaping up to be a good year for tech enthusiasts….64 bit processors will finally make their way into mainstream markets. The change from 32 bit to 64 bit processors will radically alter our computer experiences. The last time processors made such a radical jump was in the early 90’s when 16 bit processors gave way to the all familiar 32 bit processor. 64 bit proc. can support up to one terabyte…that’s right 1000 GIGABYTES, or just over ONE MILLION MEGABYTES of RAM (Ralph A. Meiers….just kidding Random Access Memory)

2007 will also be the year of broadband…the broadband uptake rate in the U.S. will vastly outnumber the rate in Canada (this primarily attributed to the lower broadband penetration rates in the US). Canada, however, will shine and lead in super-fast broadband (thanks Eugene). Super-fast broadband is required for IPTV. An IPTV launch is required in order for the Telcos to beat the hell out of the cable industry.

Vista will finally bring Media Centre to the masses. Media Centre Extender will flow the content through your household, and XBOX 360 may just end up linking everything together. For years I’ve wanted a COMBO Box…I’m thinking 2007 is finally the year I may get my wish.

LCD TVs will be the way to go (bye bye plasma). LCDs are inherently better at displaying high resolution graphics (why do you think Microsoft decided to demo XBOX on SAMSUNG LCD TVs?).

Computers won’t be just computers anymore. Your TV will become a computer, albeit a much more simplified and stable one.

I am ALIVE…I’m back.

By |2013-03-24T08:15:11-04:00November 29th, 2006|Technology|0 Comments

Enjoy

Wake up 7 am
Bout time we do it again
Sushine today
I better make plans
Cause it rained yesterday
But that was ok
Cant complain

I love it either way

Living everyday like it’s my last
I refuse to be stuck in the past
People actin like machines
Cause they’re scared to live their dreams
No not me

I just enjoy and celebrate
Enjoy the love we make
Enjoy, appreciate
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til my hearts content
And enjoy when someone smiles
Enjoy

So just enjoy the simple things
Enjoy the day life brings
Enjoy the song love sings
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til your hearts content
And enjoy the gift of life
Enjoy

If you wanna find the paradise
Do it now never too late to try
Lose your inhibitions
Let your inspiration set you free

And just enjoy and celebrate
Enjoy the love we make
Enjoy, appreciate
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til my hearts content
And enjoy when someone smiles
Enjoy

So let’s enjoy the simple things
Enjoy the day life brings
Enjoy the song love sings
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til your hearts content
And enjoy the gift of life
Enjoy

And the people say

Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la

I just enjoy and celebrate
Enjoy the love we make
Enjoy, appreciate
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til my hearts content
And enjoy when someone smiles
Enjoy

So just enjoy the simple things
Enjoy the day life brings
Enjoy the song love sings
Enjoy

Just keep on doing it
‘Til your hearts content
And enjoy the gift of life
Enjoy

Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy la la la la la
Enjoy

By |2013-03-24T06:32:05-04:00November 28th, 2006|Lyrics, Music|0 Comments

All I want for

XMas Are Things Which Are Simple Measurable Achievable Realistic Timely.

A Starck Fossil
Club Monaco Cashmere
Dress Slacks (aka classic pants)
Re-laxed Runners _ I know how to dress for success.
Sweaters are warm this season.
Kickin’ Runners
Some Sephora
Dress Shirts (aka office standard)
Some new tech. Tech is hot for 2007.

By |2013-03-24T08:28:13-04:00November 15th, 2006|Christmas|0 Comments

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